One sign Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman might be a bad auctioneer: He turned down the highest bidder ... and then called her a "fat and short Bette Midler."
The Mayor let the unbelievable dis loose at a recent auction in Sin City, after a woman he repeatedly said looked like the Divine, red-haired, Vegas performer entered a bid of $2,750 for the item on the auction block.
In the video -- shot from a distance -- Goodman says he won't accept her money because "she's fat and she's short."
The other auctioneer quickly tried to steer the auction back on track ... but the damage had been done.
Maria Shriver ... did she get a special break yesterday when she went muffin/shoe shopping in Santa Monica, CA and left her SUV next to an expired parking meter? We decided to see for ourselves, and frankly ... we didn't do so well.
TMZ's intrepid muffin-eating reporter, Gary, went to Peet's Coffee -- the scene of Maria's crime. Gary left his whip at an expired meter and went inside for an orange-cranberry muffin. Gary was gorging himself when he looked out the window and saw a parking enforcement lady drive up to his car and get out.
Gary ran outside and pleaded, "I'm sorry. My meter must have ran out. I was inside getting muffins that were very important. I'm leaving right now."
Her response: "Sorry, there's nothing I can do for you. That's the way it is." She proceeded to write Gary a $50 parking ticket.
In fairness, Gary did not have a Dignitary Protection deputy to plead his case.
But, Gary says, the muffin was "delicious."
UPDATE: We apologize to Gary's mother ... who was under the impression he was on a diet.
Maria Shriver crossed the line yesterday when she went shoe and muffin shopping in Santa Monica yesterday without feeding her meter ... but several law enforcement sources say they also have problems with the way the situation was handled.
One law enforcement source says he would have handled it this way: "Maria, put a quarter in the meter!" He had no good answer why Maria didn't get ticketed and why a CHP deputy in the Dignitary Protection Unit stepped in to convince the parking cop to back off on writing a citation.
Initially, a rep from the Santa Monica PD told TMZ if Maria had a placard on her dash showing she was on official business the cop wouldn't write the ticket. But there was no placard in the window and last we checked eating a muffin and shopping for shoes has nothing to do with the business of California.
The rep also said the cop had "discretion" in writing a ticket. But another law enforcement source said Maria should have to pay the piper, one way or the other.
As for driving off without a seat belt, the Santa Monica official told us no one saw it.
As for official comment from law enforcement -- everyone seems scared to cross Guv Arnold Schwarzenegger, so mum's the word.
So far, no comment from the Governor's office either. Ditto Maria's.
Not to be outdone by hubby Arnold Schwarzenegger, Maria Shriver broke two more road rules yesterday, but again she got off scot-free.
The rebellious First Lady of California was walking out of Peet's Coffee in Santa Monica when a vigilant parking enforcement officer noticed her meter had expired. The officer pulled out his rusty, trusty "auto-cite" device to ticket the vehicle, when suddenly one of Maria's security dudes ran up to him, flashed something at the officer and did some fast talking.
In the end, the officer backed off without writing a ticket. Maria then got in her SUV, took off her glasses and began eating her muffin as the expired meter continued blinking.
Oh, and there's this .... she drove off without securing her seat belt.
A Santa Monica police official tells TMZ writing a parking ticket is "discretionary." He also said if Maria was on official business she'd be exempt from parking laws, provided she had a placard on the dash. We saw no placard and -- last we checked -- eating a muffin is not official business.
UPDATE: A Santa Monica police official now tells TMZ the parking enforcement officer was about to write the ticket when a man walked up to the officer and said he was a member of the CHP Dignitary Protection Unit. The CHP guy then said he understood the officer had a job to do but the dignitary would be gone in less than 5 minutes. At that point the parking enforcement officer backed off, but issued a warning.
As for Maria then getting in the SUV, eating a muffin and driving off without her seat belt, the parking official says his officer didn't see that.
We contacted the CHP -- they have no comment on the situation.
The folks over at Sesame Street rolled over to the Bill O'Reilly show yesterday to introduce Bill to their new character, "Spill O'Reilly" -- an anchor at the "Pox News Network."
The Sesame Street rep explained that in the Grouch news world, being trashy is a good thing -- "Spill" then descibed himself as a "proud dirty sock wavin' grouch."
Bill laughed it off during the show, claiming he was "flattered" by the spoof -- but insisted the character reminded him more of congressman Barney Frank.
Arnold Schwarzenegger clearly learned a thing or two about falling on the sword ... because he made no excuses about parking his Porsche in a red zone the other day.
Will Arnold's bold mea culpa influence Maria -- who's been known to break a traffic law or two?
Arnold Schwarzenegger claims he hasn't been pulled over since he became Governor of California 6 years ago -- but as we all know ... it's not because he's never broken the law!!!! The infamous red zone parker and husband to law avoiding citizenMaria Shriver was on Leno last night -- where he admitted he hasn't been pulled over, let alone gotten a ticket, since he was sworn in.
His term ends in 2011. Watch out -- karma's a bitch.
John Kerry's daughter is free and clear this morning... because the L.A. City Attorney has decided not to prosecute her for DUI -- that's what law enforcement sources tell TMZ.
TMZ broke the story Alexandra Forbes Kerry was busted by the LAPD early Thursday morning, but her blood alcohol level was .06 ... under the legal limit of .08.
The City Attorney typically doesn't prosecute cases with a .06 ... so the decision to reject the case is pretty routine.
UPDATE 6:40 PM EST: Senator Kerry has released the following statement: "I'm grateful that this ends a public episode we all wish had been avoided entirely or handled privately.
Despite some speculation, my daughter was pulled over for an expired registration, not for erratic driving. A breathalyzer test at the police station revealed she was under the legal limit.
She was released a short time later, not at 5:30 AM or after being held overnight as some reported.
While she regrets driving with an expired registration, and takes full responsibility for it, that mistake should never have been compounded by erroneous reports suggesting she was driving drunk."
Arnold Schwarzenegger can be influenced by the rich and powerful -- as in, his wife, Maria Shriver.
The California Governor took his Porsche out for a spin in Bev Hills Saturday, and left his sweet ride in the red zone. Since the State is broke, there weren't enough cops around to ticket the Guv, so he got away with it.
We're guessing Maria will call for "swift justice" -- on her cell phone.
Senator John Kerry is on his daughter's team over her DUI arrest this morning in L.A. But he seems to ignore an important fact -- cops claim she was impaired and that's why they busted her.
The Senator points out that Alexandra blew under California's legal limit of .08. He also says she was not pulled over for drunk driving but rather expired tags.
Kerry's rep says, "Senator Kerry supports his daughter and will have no further comment on a private matter."
But here's the deal. The Senator didn't mention Alexandra flunked the field sobriety test and that's why cops arrested her. Also in California, you don't need a .08 to be driving under the influence. A sip of wine could do the trick if you can't handle it when you get behind the wheel.
But law enforcement sources tell us it's unlikely prosecutors will file charges.
Senator John Kerry's daughter, Alexandra Forbes Kerry, was arrested early this morning on suspicion of DUI ... law enforcement sources tell TMZ.
It went down in Hollywood at 12:40 AM. Alexandra, a 36-year-old film producer and director, was pulled over for a traffic stop, then arrested and booked at LAPD's Hollywood station. She was released at 5:25 AM.
Cops tell us Alexandra violated a traffic law which got their attention. They then conducted a field sobriety test and it appeared she was under the influence of an intoxicant. She was then placed under arrest. At that point, cops asked her to take a preliminary alcohol screening test in the field, but she refused.
Cops took her to the station and then conducted a formal blood alcohol test which showed a level of .06. Under California law, the legal limit is .08, but a driver can still be prosecuted -- even under a .08 reading -- if the vehicle is being operated unsafely due to alcohol. The inside word -- the L.A. City Attorney probably won't prosecute Alexandra because generally they won't go after people with under a .08 unless the driving is really crazy.
Carrie Prejean has a serious congressional supporter who thinks she should pursue a career in politics ... and it's not just because she has her finger on the hot-button issues.
TMZ spoke with Congressman Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) who tells us he thinks Prejean could be a serious contender in the political arena: "[Carrie] has the ability to draw crowds and if she has a strong message to go with that, who knows what she can do? She has star power which can open doors.
"We've all made mistakes when we were 17. [The sex tape] is going to be an impediment, but people are excited about her convictions and her beliefs."
For the record -- Carrie was 20 when she filmed her world famous solo mission.
The feud between Sarah Palin ('memba her?!) and Levi Johnston rages on -- and even though she offered him an olive branch invite to her Thanksgiving dinner, we don't see them sharing the stuffing come next week.
The VP wannabeen appeared on "Oprah" today, where talk turned to her daughter's babydaddy's Playgirl spread -- a career move she labels as "heartbreaking" "porn." Palin also noted that she heard Levi is going by another name these days -- Rikki Hollywood.
Maria Shriver crossed the line yesterday when she went shoe and muffin shopping in Santa Monica yesterday without feeding her meter ... but several law enforcement sources say they also have problems with the way the situation was handled.
John Kerry's daughter is free and clear this morning... because the L.A. City Attorney has decided not to prosecute her for DUI -- that's what law enforcement sources tell TMZ.
Senator John Kerry is on his daughter's team over her DUI arrest this morning in L.A. But he seems to ignore an important fact -- cops claim she was impaired and that's why they busted her.
Senator John Kerry's daughter, Alexandra Forbes Kerry, was arrested early this morning on suspicion of DUI ... law enforcement sources tell TMZ.
